Successful at Work, Struggling at Home: Why Your Partner Needs More of You

You're successful. You're loyal. You provide. You work incredibly hard. So why is your partner still unhappy? And why can you feel successful everywhere else but disconnected at home?

The skills that work at work

Here's something I see often when I'm coaching high achievers, as well as something that I learned by going to business school myself: the skills that help you succeed professionally are not always the same skills that create success and intimacy at home.

You see, at work, you're rewarded for problem solving, control, efficiency, being right, staying strong under pressure and getting results. But relationships often ask something completely different from us.

What relationships ask of us instead

• Instead of problem solving, we need presence.
• Instead of control, we need curiosity.
• Instead of always being strong, we need vulnerability.
• Instead of "I can handle it," sometimes saying "I need you."
• Instead of providing more, doing another case, doing another business deal, we want presence. We want more of you.

Your partner simply just needs more of you.

Providing isn't the same as emotional intimacy

That's why someone can be a great provider and still feel incredibly lonely in their marriage. See, providing isn't the same as emotional intimacy. You were highly trained to succeed professionally, but guess what? No one gave you an MBA in marriage.

The good news

The good news is that you don't need to become a different person. You can continue to be yourself and be very successful at work. You just need to learn a different set of skills, and those skills can be learned.

If you're thriving professionally but struggling to create the same success at home, this is exactly the work I do. It would be an honour to support you.

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